DOCTOR CLOCKWORK, lauded on every Continent as an Adventurer and Scientist of Great Esteem, was once as SOCIABLE a man as ever lived. Tragedy struck during his tenure in Micronesia, when his Beloved Wife was mistaken for a Grazing Animal and BOILED by the Native ISLANDERS who afterward were seized with terrible REGRET and indigestion. Abandoning the accursed Isle, yet cleaving with MANIACAL SINGLE-MINDEDNESS to his ELECTROLOGICAL STUDIES, the Doctor fled to the arid mountains of Switzerland.

Since that Fateful Day the Doctor has operated under the Utmost SECRECY. Therefore it would be Imprudent to require him to explain the Details of his Movements. It is generally assumed that the Learned Doctor is toiling both Day and Night in his Alpine laboratory to perfect his INCREDIBLE COLLECTION of UNUSUAL DEVICES and IMPLEMENTS. Taking into account the great showers of colorful SPARKS, clouds of red-hot STEAM and high-pitched Noises that emerge from the Laboratory’s windows, we trust that this is indeed the case.

All Correspondence from the great Doctor (including his Staff’s Wages and the occasional Birthday Card) is sent to and from the Alpine Laboratory via an extensive and Confounding Series of INTER-CONNECTED ELECTRICAL TUBES which form a vast and etheric NETWORK, an innovation entirely of the Doctor’s making. To send a message to DOCTOR CLOCKWORK via this mysterious Network: Click Here